I could, of course, gush about my own dear mom, who means more to me than I can ever sufficiently express. Those of you who know her understand why.

But, on this Mother’s Day 2012, I feel the need to dig a little deeper, and share some thoughts with all mothers.

We live our lives on a continuum of time and perspective. Fueled with personal experiences and acquired knowledge the perception and understanding of our own life is fluid.  Remembering the size of the house you grew up in often shifts when you visit it as an adult.

While not everyone will become a mother, we all have been spawned from one. We are blessed and cursed by the DNA and experiences of those before us. We extend the favors and we continue to be effected by those born from and long after us.

As with every living entity from the tiniest cell to the most complex organic systems, any action and at times, a non-action, have an effect on all other surrounding entities. The mom effect reverberates from within extending its influence far and wide. The mom is likewise stimulated by the actions of the “cells” closest to her.  There is no “I” separate from the cosmos, or at least from the cosmic consciousness.

Nature has its own means of balance. From the desolation of a fire, nutrients emerge and new life is able to bloom. But, nature is neither “good” nor “bad.” It just is.

Human intellect and our increasingly demanding emotional needs have caused a conundrum for modern mothers. Do we really think primitive woman had the luxury of worrying about “being a good mom?” 90% of the mothers of the world still cannot afford such judgment. Having a child live past the age of five, sufficient food, shelter, and safety are the most basic job tasks of those women.

Next up the ladder of importance is seeing that your child receives an education, the value of which varies from culture to culture.

Past survival and an education we get into nuanced cultural and self-imposed responsibilities such as nurturing, expanded exposure to the possibilities of what life has to offer, preparation and support of individual development. All are pieces that make up what we might currently consider as providing our children with “roots.”

Together we struggle as they test their “wings” and develop the strength, determination, and wisdom to fly.

Along that continuum of time and perspective every person will understand and evaluate his or her own life in terms of their unique experiences. They will judge, appreciate, hate, misunderstand, adore, fear, idolize their mother. The mother/child relationship is a lifetime work-in-progress.

Every mother I know has struggled at one time or another with anxiety over raising a child. Few mothers willfully cause pain and destruction in the path of their off-spring. The exception proves the rule that biology, if nothing else, spurs us on to do our best.

So, what is the “measure of a good mother”? 

My answer is not for the benefit of your children or for others’ to positively assess. This one is for the heart and soul of all the moms who might be reading.

I’ve never liked to draw between the lines and I rarely use recipes to cook. So,

• Throw away the measuring devices. Stop thinking in terms of “good” or “bad.” Become one with nature.
• Take neither too much credit, nor too much blame for your children.
• Love tightly with an open hand.

And then, have a HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY!